formerlyIN

I’ve decided to write my story with precious few omissions, from A-Z about my time as a Scientologist. In order for some to understand how I got in, and how I got so far involved, I must give a little background information ( keeping my identity as hidden as I can, I’m sure OSA will figure it out), so you can understand. Bare with me for a few----

I grew up with a very devote Catholic mother and a military father. My Dad was not into any religion, so we were pretty screwed up from the jump start in this area. We became a product of divorce, and a nasty one at that! My goal was to graduate High School, get into college and get the hell out. I did just that. I graduated at 16, was accepted into many good schools and picked one. I also had a boyfriend. Hey, he was great at first, but shortly after we were married, he thought that pounding on me was a recreational activity. A Baby came soon after the marriage, I was still in school, working, then another baby, vicious cycle. I got my degree and a great job. The thing is, he controlled my money and he worked a shitty job, when he worked.

It was a don’t look now situation, 8 years later we had a few kids and I was trapped. Now I wasn’t stupid, I put a bit of money in an IRA and some in a secret savings account, but with being under his thumb all the time, it took a while to get a decent sum of money saved. This was in the 80’s when if you called the police about the abuse, they would say you go to bed and he will sleep on the couch…blah, blah, blah, domestic violence was not taken seriously. Then you have the emotional abuse, witch is worse than any beating I ever took. This is the parallel between battered wife syndrome and Scientology.

He left me, thankfully, and after a nasty divorce, I was free. Haven’t seen him in 12 ½ years, neither has any of his children. One was literally months old when he left!

This was really my first taste at freedom. I was searching for something to fill the void. I was the perfect raw meat for the CoS! I was living in Florida, 2 blocks from an org. I went in, I was given a pitch that sounded like the answers to everything I was seeking. I still had a good job and was doing pretty good for my little family. Trust me on this, I was supporting them by myself, I never saw a dollar of child support from the A-hole! Even had him jailed at one point, but he spent 4 months in jail rather than pay me a dime! It was better that way, then my kids didn’t have to deal with him.

Within a year I had 2 babysitters, one for when I was working and one for when I was working my bridge, at the org, taking courses, becoming more and more involved with the CoS. Hell, I was the perfect little member, spending money hand over fist on courses, auditing, making great case gain, they loved me! I kept my kids away from the org, not because I thought it was harmful, rather it was mine, all mine, even though the org wanted them involved. This was at this point and time, the only problem I has with the CoS.
I even kind of enjoyed my time in Clearwater.

Now came a big problem for the org but a lifesaver for me. I met my 2D. He was great. He loved me, he loved my kids, I loved him, I loved his kids, sounds great huh? One problem, he thought the CoS was bullshit. He spent time trying to convince me as much, but we loved each other so much, we agreed to disagree. We quickly moved in together, both families, and set up house. All seemed well in my world. I was working, putting my family above the CoS and spending less time at the org. I bet you can guess how well this went over…

I was called into the org, audited, I had overts and many withholds, and my 2D was deemed a PTS in my life, as was my mother, and almost every friend I had. Most of my friends were wogs. I was told that I needed to clear myself of these PTS and Sp’s in my life, retake the PTS/SP course, and things would get better for me. I didn’t see things as being bad. I already had problems with my mother. She thought I was losing my mind joining Scientology and she had already had it with me during the extensive abuse from my first marriage. I thought hey, maybe their on to something, maybe Mom is a PTS, and my friends, well, many were single, and lived differently than I did, so yeah, maybe they are a PTS… I was pretty messed up in the head by now. I cut everyone out of my life except my 2D. That was a non-negotiable point. Man, I was starting to sound like a reg around him, trying to get him to join, donate, etc. He finally decided to go with me one time, and it would be the only time I ever took him. They were very nice and gave him the hard sell but he wasn’t biting. I knew he wouldn’t, but it was worth a try. As we were leaving he quoted Marx “ religion is the opiate of the masses”! I wanted to crawl under the nearest desk, or run out the door!

Of course I was called in the next day for auditing and he was deemed THE PTS my own connected SP! I was to disconnect from him. I had just found out I was pregnant. I expressed that I couldn’t leave, I loved him and I was pregnant. I was given a high pressure sale on having an abortion, and disconnecting, but I was adamant he was staying. I was then told to handle him. They would tell me how this would be done….at a later date.

By this time, I cashed in my IRA, all gone, savings all gone, monies left to me by my grandfather, nearly gone and I was still spending. Vicious cycle, work to spend, and spend and spend. I needed more and more courses due to my overts. I needed more auditing and all this cost money.

I didn’t want the org to back my rear into a corner and I would lose my 2D either by the CoS’s influence, or because he had enough of my scn ways. I was close to having my baby and I liked my family. He wanted to get married but this didn’t work for the org, so we didn’t for 8 years! I’ll get to that later. I had a healthy baby and all seemed well.

I was called into the org, less than a week after giving birth and told I must handle my 2D, he was hurting my progress and I’ve been downstat since he entered my life. They had a well laid out plan, that I would be given piece by piece, not all at once. First, They needed me for a job In California. It was up to me to get him to sell his business and move to CA with me. If I couldn’t get him to do this in a timely fashion, I was going to have to disconnect from him. I was to use any methods necessary for this to happen. It really wasn’t that hard to get him to sell, he was in the biz for so many years and a little tired. He did want assurance that we wouldn’t fall on our butts in CA and we had to have a place to live BEFORE we got there. The CoS found me a nice house to rent, and even “helped” me negotiate the rental agreement on this home. Pay a year up front at a seriously reduced rate. guess what? I was 3 miles from the org! It was a nice house, they found me a nice job, but didn’t help him find employment. Once there I was at the org even before I had my clothes unpacked, much less my home set up!

I had already flown out and interviewed for the job and was hired. I was to start my new job a week after our arrival. I was told that there were things that could be helpful to the org and help me make up for my overts if I helped them. They explained the inner workings of this company, and the man in particular that I would be the AA for, and what would be “helpful” for the CoS. I didn’t even know this much at this time about my position! My boss was a tyrant, but I acclimated myself with the job in days. Not to toot my own horn, but I’m good at what I do. I’m not the journalist I wanted to be, but hey, I’m good at my job. I knew what they wanted now as well. Basically, the main company was an acquisition company, and then there was a sub company that was a talent agency. As you can see this information was very useful to the org. I NEVER invested in anything related to this company. The information obtained, I know some of it was to try and recruit some up and coming young actors, as for the other side, I have my suspicions, I can’t prove anything, so I’ll let you come to that conclusion for yourselves. I was so guilt ridden, still am, that I became an insomniac. The org would dismiss this as I was doing this because we were fighting the SP’s for the betterment of society as a whole. I was supposed to turn over everything and definitely not keep copies. This is where I was not the best SCN… The only person I can trust in the entire world has this info just in case…

I was spending most of the money I was making at the org, we were falling on are rears and my 2D had enough of the CoS and me. An ultimatum was given to me by him, move after the lease was up, somewhere without SCN, Blow, lead a normal life, or he was taking our child and leaving. I agreed. I started to spend less and less time at the org, but they started calling more and more, even coming over, with was not good on the home front! We were secretly planning the move, without telling my new found scn friends, only 1 person knew and I didn’t think this person was Scn related. WRONG!

We moved to a little town in the middle of nowhere, with 1200 people in the whole town. It was in the middle of the bible belt, who would have known a town not too far away had an org! Within a few weeks the E/O showed up at my home. Our street didn’t even have a name! OMG it was a nightmare. I was told type III due to my 2D’s influence and I needed to get back to the org. I did. He was pissed off. When I returned home everyday I was truly expecting him and our child to be gone. The org had me… I just one day stopped going. Changed the phone number, they got the new one, stopped answering calls, emails etc, and thought the nightmare was over. One night in the middle of the night, our home went up in flames. The fire marshal said it was electrical, who knows, all I know is a 3 bedroom home was totally destroyed in 22 minutes! He finally had it, no more chances. He said we are moving back to FL where he has business contacts and a job waiting and I would just have to blow! Before we did that I wanted one thing, marriage. We got married, just us and the kids, then back to FL. When this happened we were homeless. Did the CoS help out? Hell no!

We got back to FL, he got back to work and I got my old job back. All was well, except I couldn’t avoid the CoS entirely. They were still evading my life. We were making good money again, we always bounce back, the kiddies were happy, all was well. My daughter decided even with the org’s hard sell she wasn’t joining, she was enlisting in the military. I was told to disconnect from her or be declared. I was like WTF?! Really, I didn’t care. Almost a year to the day from fire #1, our apt caught fire in FL. It was electrical from a faulty A/C unit, no doubt. I was burned pretty bad in the putting out of the fire. Because I was too busy with the org, I was neglecting my household duties like paying the renters ins. And we lost everything. This was yet another turning point in our relationship. If it wasn’t for my injury, he may have divorced me.

My daughter called ( military girl) and I told her I didn’t have to blow, I was being declared for not disconnecting from her. She said “ finally you’ll be away from that cult! Mom, the little kids don’t need to be around that stuff”. Wow what a profound statement from a kid.

I filed a lawsuit against the owners and all the sudden the CoS liked me again. Was it because they saw $$ in my future? Or did I know too much? I’ll never know.

Right after it happened, I was in the org and they told me I would have to deal with many SP’s and go to dr.’s to go through with the case. I was to fill meds, but not take them, as they were unnecessary. They would help me get back on course after the suit was over. Typical scn, lie when convenient.

Here we are 2 years later and my suit is at the end, latterly in weeks, unless I muck it up. In those 2 years we fell on our rears with medical bills, me not being able to work, etc. We moved to another state to get away from the CoS again. It seemed to have worked. During the discovery process of the suit, they stayed away. It involved PI’s, throwing hippa our the door, and everything in my life, past included being on open display. Just recently have they come back into our lives. Not many people even know where we are. I started getting emails, then calls on an unlisted phone number and a new cell number, then they showed up at the door. My case, any case is a matter of public record for a few bucks. I think they were watching my case covertly, waiting to pounce at the end. My 2D and I were doing better than ever, and now here they are again! This time it was very aggressive.

I wasn’t falling for the hard sell, but I have to be on my best behavior, because with the case so close I have more PI’s and I’m not sure they are all from the ins company. Not too long ago, we were out all day and my neighbors were telling me two different people were at my apt, banging on the door, they thought they were police by the way they were banging so they checked. They were told they were “friends” of ours. I got home and my phone had been blasted up by the org, call after call. I checked my email, and 3 of them.

The next day a member came over and insisted I come in to the org. She was insistent about driving. The entire ride was in complete silence. When I got there, I was the only member at the org. There was staff the E/O and someone who I’m guessing was OSA. I was yelled at for about an hour on how all the SP’s in my life have been a detriment to my bridge, I was causing flap with my overts and withholds, etc. I was hysterical. Then came the sec check. They “knew” I had withholds. Hours to be exact. Then they left the room. The man who I think is OSA, the E/O and the woman who brought me, all came back in and were telling me, we know you had contact with so and so ( they went through my cell phone call log!), Then they said we understand you have to deal with these SP’s for a little longer ( they knew the exact date), but we will help you. I have had a hard time just feeding my kids for months and now I was about to lose the case because I can get the 1,500 to get to Fl. If I don’t get there the other side will ask for it to be dismissed. In the mean time, I’m screwed up for life!
The CoS had a solution, they would lend me the $$ on a loan, the lady who picked me up would accompany me to FL, and my 2D was to stay here! Screw that! I’d rather lose the case. Not that I want to, but when you get in bed with a snake you will get bite! ( I’m leaving out a lot of what was said in these hours to protect my identity). As of today, I have 2 days to get the money or game over.

2 days ago, after the events with the org, my 2D told me he just can’t take it anymore, he wanted a divorce. The only other people who mean more to me are my children. I have lost a huge part of me. I was a fool. Scientology cost me almost every relationship in my life. I have no one but my children, I’ve never felt so lonely. This is what Scn does, this is the face of SCN! This is most of my story.

-------

I left something very important out, my thank you to Anonymous for the constant post on IMDB and other boards. Opening my eyes even further, and fighting this battle. I will gladly stand arm and arm with you anytime. I just put myself out there, and who knows if repricussions will come, but SCN is not a religion, rather a scheme that destroys lives.

Marc Abian

This is probably the only time I'd ever consider taking a loan from those "Paycheck Advance" store. You might look into Greyhound/bussing as well, perhaps?

You should also look into getting a refund. I believe it was actually one of the anonymous projects starting up to begin around July or so. Get your husband to understand the world of shit that the local org will be in if you are successful and how any contracts you might have signed are more than likely to be unenforceable by law, and maybe you can convince him to stay by your side in these enturbulating times.

Although you will have to hire a lawyer for after the insurance lawsuit.

You should also ignore any calls from the orgs regarding anything. At all. Tell them to go away and shut the door in their face, keep them off your property and walk away from any contact with them that starts off as a "reasonable conversation" but turns into a hard selling of ANYTHING. Good luck in your future endeavors, I hope your husband changes his mind.

They are coming! I feel them scratching inside my mind, scratching, screaming, running, so many - so, so many voices. They are coming for us - flesh, body and lulz!

"But some people, the officials admit, refuse to be handled. What happens to them? "Then I guess not believing in Scientology means more to them than not seeing their family," Davis says."
[http://www.rollingstone.com/politics...scientology/6]

formerlyIN

Payday advance requires a job. Since the fire I have been unable to work. I can't get out of the bath without help. I will NEVER have anything to do with any org again! I've been trying to get them off my butt for years but I thought they had me under the thumb due to the job I took and what I did, one of the founders of exscientologykids told me that I was in the catbird seat. I made a few calls to people who's info was given to the org today, before posting the story. I explained what I did and who has the info and surprisingly enough, all but one weren't mad,almost understanding. I'm blown for good! My husband is done, I know that and now I feel I will be up against the OSA now, but I don't care. I'm sure they troll these boards. Bring it on and I'll take everything to the FBI. They could get hit with SEC violations. At the very least, have to answer some really hard questions. Some of the companies involved are probably companies each one of you have used! The names of the actors, well, all I could do was make the calls.

Thank you for your thoughts. I will look into the refunds, I never heard of that before.

xenubarb

Your story makes me furious! Not at you, but at this rapacious CULT that cost you your job, your husband, and your well-being. I hope with my whole heart that you will be made whole again!

Stories like this keep on coming as ex-members find their courage to speak out. This sort of thing has got to stop! Why isn't Congress listening to your voices? How many more lives must be destroyed before those who are in a position to do something get up off their fat asses, grow a pair, and tell DM & Co. a resounding NO MORE OF THIS! YOU ARE DONE!

Thanks for sharing your story. I wish there was something I could do besides keep you in my thoughts. Thank goodness your daughter joined the real military instead of Davey's Navy! You have my best wishes for the future. Look into the refund possibility. Keep making your voice heard. You will prevail, god bless you.

San Diego Anons: They Troll Deep.

<----BALLS BALLS BALLS BALLS

formerlyIN

Do you know they are actively recruiting on and near military post/bases? Here's the deal, you can get on a post/base with a valid DL and a military personel ( nice security huh?). Scientology IS considered a religion according to the military, so here's how it goes, a military SCN brings in regs, usually on weekends, they target the kids with no families or broken families, kids getting ready to deploy. This is very active in Hawai'i on Kane'ohe Marine Corps base, as well as Ft. Hood In Killeen TX.In Killeen, it's a little harder to get them on post but then if they can't get in one of the gates they go to the Walmart nearby.

My daughter has always refered to SCN as a cult. She's a spitfire and go balls to the walls to the regs.all 5'3 110 pds of her will go up to a 6 ft man and get right in his face and tell him and anyone in screeching distance " You're a cult member" " "get out of here, Scientologist on board Alert" She's a pistol, love her to death.

tazor

formerlyIN, Do you have any money "on account" with any org? You can get that back pretty easily. Go to ESMB and there are threads there that tell you how to do it.

You need to tell the $cilons that you will get a restraining order against them if they don't leave you alone. You should tell all your neighbors about what is happening and to watch out for strangers lurking around. You might go to your local PD and inform them of your situation also.

I wouldn't talk to the $cilons again. Just tell them about the restraining order and that you'll get a lawyer and go to the press if they keep bothering you.

Good luck with this.:)

Scientology was just a joke written by hack science fiction writer L. Ron Hubbard. Xenu is the punch line.

Please! Don't get the fuck me out! At least let me be in the dome! ~Lily the Troll~

formerlyIN

No money on account. Spent a whole hell of a lot over the years. Kendra gave me the name of an ex scientology atty, I will contact him, it's just all so overwhelming. An Anon gave me magoo's email addy but I don't want to pester her, you know, I wasn't born into this shit, I chose it. Yes, I kept trying to blow but does that make it any less my own problem?

What I do want is them brought down! I don't want one more person to suffer like I am. Like my kids did.

Ten Tigers

I don't really have anything to add, other than my compassion and sadness for your situation... (And a continued hardcore devotion to seeing this cult brought down to ruin!)

P.S. Contact Tory. You aren't "pestering" her. It's what we are all here for, and I know Tory would be thrilled to hear from you!

No single drop of water thinks it is responsible for the flood.

Anonabliss

Tory wasn't born into it either. She was in for 30 years, she'll understand more than anyone could. Call her. Don't be afraid to ask for support. You need it and there are people who want to give it to you.

Im sorry you lost so much but you're out and it can only get better from here. Wishing that things start to look up for you.

"Let me meet a motherfucking clear" ~~Jason Beghe

XenuIsGod

Ex-Scientologist Shares Her Dreadful Story | Chanology News

Copypasta'd.

formerlyIN

Thank you for all the support. Blowing is one of the hardest, if not the hardest thing a SCN will ever do. One can overcome the financial aspect, but can you ever fully recover from the emotional impact? I don't know.

XenuIsGod:
Thank you for posting my story. If by telling my story, I can help one person who is thinking of blowing, then it was worth it. Maybe they will see what the impact is and will decide not to put themselves and their families though all this. It's a dead end.

AnonKiwi

Man, this makes me so mad.

I would recommend talking to the FBI as well. They might not be able to do anything, but my god it would feel good! And maybe over time and with enough accounts they will be able to put together something against those bastards.

And defo work on a restraining order!

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SickofCos

Hi FormerlyIN,

I was very interested to read your story. I am an advocate for people who have been abused, all types of abuse. As recipient of physical, emotional, verbal, and sexual as well as spiritual/religious abuse, I know just how enormous the toll is and how hard it is to get your head screwed back on straight after involvement with abuses.

Until you're stronger and further down the road to healing, I highly recommend No Contact. It is the only way for the target of abuse to escape it. Don't take their phone calls, don't listen to voice mails, don't answer the door (tell them to get off your property or you'll call the police - and DO IT), don't read their emails. Certainly never step foot on their property or engage in conversation with them. Cut the tie completely and totally.

I might share more of my story, why I am posting here and becoming involved in protesting against Scientology at a later point, but I felt compelled to let you know I empathise and am so very glad you're out. I do hope that you can save your marriage.

SickofCos

evey

formally', this is important - you are NOT pestering ANY of us by talking, emailing, asking anything or just making contact. as mentioned above, tory wasn't born into it either, and she has openly posted her contact details and invited exes to contact her. i believe that she would be of great value for you to talk to, so please don't feel like you shouldn't contact her for whatever reason. yes its your problem, but you don't have to shoulder it alone! thats the way the scienos work, and you're free of them now - there are many, MANY resources for you for help and support.

as for your story, i am just heartbroken for what this terrible organisation has put you and your family through. you have lots of support around you. as others have said, DO NOT give them another single second of time in your presence, they don't deserve it. slam the door, hang up the phone, rip up thier mail. thankyou for sharing your story with us, it is yet another example of why we are fighting this fight, and it is so good to have you out of thier clutches and over with us!

CuntwArt

and I doubt you've really done it.

Look at your first post. One gift of shit followed by an "okay, I'll try again". You're not out. Another phone call or knock at the door and you'll get back into a car and be back at it again.

I'm not convinced.

Kendra did the same thing as I recall. About the Nightline thing. She agreed to meet some shitheel, brainwashed motherfuckers at like 3 o'clock in the motherfucking morning.

You'll do the same.

Not true?

Am I full of shit?

Troll my post then you spineless piece of shit

monamia

fishy

AnonKiwi

Monamia, wtf are you on about? If you're in any way calling someone a clam, you're breaking the rules and due an infraction. Please consider taking the time to type more than 5 letters in your thread replies.

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evey

*edit:

sockpuppet

FormerlyIN, I've seen your posts over at esk and know you've only just gotten out recently. Thank you for writing your story and having the courage to speak out, for many it takes years to reach this point. Hopefully when the dust settles things will start looking up for you, wishing you all the best.

AnonKiwi

And don't worry about folks here. They can be a little confrontational - partly out of caution, partly to encourage you to think and act. Keep posting. :)

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